Govt. Mulls 200% Cutoff In 12th For Entry To IITs

Woken up by the remarks of environment minister Jairam Ramesh, the Govt. is planning to set up a panel to consider increasing the cutoff to 200% in std. 12^th Board exams for entry into IITs. Congress spokesperson Mr. Srinivas Rattu said that it was aimed at improving the quality of students making it to the famed institutes. “Taking a cue from one of Delhi University’s colleges which has a cutoff of 100%, we thought of extrapolating this interesting phenomenon to our prestigious colleges. Besides, 200% would be the bare minimum score an outstanding student would target”.

 BJP ridiculed this move and deemed it vote-bank politics since the cutoffs for SC/ST candidates is still likely to be around 150%, and for OBCs a meager 120%. “This is outrageous! How does my son score more than 100%? Now the only option is to send my son to Karnataka where we could purchase 1 mark for Rs. 1 lakh, and then hope that he clears IIT entrance exam.”, said BJP leader Sushma Swaraj, who went back to her dance classes after the quote.

Union HRD minister Kapil Sibal hailed the idea as revolutionary and also claimed that A Raja did in fact score more than 100%ile in CAT during his tenure as Telecom minister. “How does this country do its calculations? Earlier I had said the 2G scam loss was Rs.0, now I have to prove a student can’t score more than 100%? It’s shocking! It’s just propaganda by RSS that we can’t go beyond 100%! It’s because of this ineptitude that Indian institutes are not among top 150.”

The panel also suggested naming the next IIT after Late former HRD minister Dr. Arjun Singh, who is fondly called ‘bade papa’ by the members of the OBC community, but this request was shot down by none other than Congress General Secretary Mr. Digvijay Singh who blamed baba ramdev for spreading this rumour. “How can someone ignore Rahul Gandhi, our PM-in-waiting? Moreover, Arjun always stole the attention of Sonaiji during meetings, thug kahin ka!” Digvijay showed us the middle finger when asked why he was wearing a red collar usually worn by pets.

The panel will meet next week at 10 Janpath to discuss the various cheating strategies a student could use to cross the 100% barrier. A special request was granted by Tihar Jail to let off Suresh Kalmadi for a day, since his advice would be invaluable. Our sources say that since many MPs have volunteered to participate , the host is mulling a filtering criteria of Rs. 1000 Crores of black money as bank balance. “It would be a great reliving the old times when I and Lalooji passed out of school together, after 5^th grade”, said an MP from Bihar.

We decided against going to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh, who was away for his daughter’s love marriage ceremony. He would have said “Education, just like corruption and this wedding, is not in my hands.”